Thursday, 14 May 2015

Lost in the blogosphere

I've been absent, obviously. And it's definitely been quite a while since I've written anything, again obviously. Now here comes the but... 

But there's been a change. 

I'm not speaking of a physical change, though I do once again find myself walking through the hell that is dieting (by choice, give me no sympathy, I know what I'm doing). I've upped the exercise too which is actually doing wonders physically and mentally all things considered, and I hate exercising, more on that in another post.
So true, so true
I've had time off where I've questioned lots of things in my life. I think there are significant times in our lives when we all need to make the time to reassess where we're going. To question if where we are on that journey is really where we want to be. If not, plans need to be thought out and a change has to occur.

I'm amazing at the thinking stage. I own it. I can do that shit for weeks and months even. I like to be thorough and because change can be scary, really you're taking a risk and trusting your own judgement (meaning you have no one else to blame should poo and fan collide), I like to make sure that I'm certain in what I'm doing. Basically, you're backing yourself that yes, I'm doing the 'right' thing for me at this point in time. The last thing you really want to do is "Yes, okay I'm doing this", to suddenly be going, "Oops, my bad, change of plan". If it needs to be done you make that change, again, but really no one chooses to do that from the get go.

Anyway, in this deeply thoughtful, consciously aware thinking stage, I may look like I'm doing nothing, I have kind of a glazed, vague look on my face but mentally I am stomping about inside my head kicking shit over, demolishing the unwanted crap, changing directions; I'm making a HUGE web of plans. I'm talking HUGE, GINORMOUS is even an appropriate word here. I'm a person who doesn't just have plan A, B, then C... I do the whole damn alphabet and then start on numbers if I have too.

So I've found myself away from the blogging keyboard, do remember I live on Facebook - it's my social scene so I'm at the keyboard, just not to blog. And I've been procrastinating while thinking, I find these two activities go hand in hand for me. The only exception is long road trips - life changing decisions get made on long road trips. 

When I procrastinate EVERYTHING stalls; the housework, the ironing, the serious cleaning. God, I haven't washed or vacuumed my car in forever, sacrilege I know. I've managed to keep the superficial stuff going, just. I do laundry, fold, but don't iron. I vacuum but haven't mopped in ages either. These are important, eventually. I find the clearer my thinking, the cleaner my house. I think it's all linked in with motivation, the total opposite to procrastination.

I found a quote that speaks to me. I love quotes: motivational, funny, serious, inspiration. Sometimes I even make up my own. But I stumbled across this one as I was coming out of my thinking funk, had made choices, plans were starting to come into action, and it just truly spoke to me. It made me pay attention. It is now my desktop background on my computer, meaning I get to read it multiple times throughout the day.
My current mantra. Cool, huh!
Deep and speaks volumes, hey.

Well, to me it shouts!

And the timing is impeccable.

So decisions have been made, books have been read - on blogging, life coaching and blogging, and motivation and blogging, of course. A significant life event gave me a shove - unexpected death has that power, and as always I've got the most amazingly supportive people around me, even though at times I ignore them whilst building webs in my mind. 

I'm glad I've finally got fingers to the keyboard. To be honest it feels awesome, like catching up with a much loved friend. Thank you for letting me back into your world.

Deb... xox

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